Welcome One and All.

The majesty of the Hedge is often overlooked in modern society, however, over this splendid piece of technology named 'The Internet' I will strive to right these wrongs and bring a bit of hedgerow into your everyday life.
It is a simple hope, but a passionate one.

Thursday, 27 January 2011

The Innate Evil of the Everyday Bush

One of the most important rules of Hedgeology is that just because it has leaves which are all clumped together, DOES NOT MAKE IT A HEDGE.
The time has come, I'm afraid, to learn about the sin of the bush.
At such a moment as this one, an analogy would become very useful. The bush is to the Hedge what Roman Catholics are to rationality. Thats not a very deep analogy but it is an angry one.
Many people feel the need to decorate their gardens with these bushes and they may even cut them into amusing shapes.
Look at this one, some idiot has carved a face into the bush to make it appear friendly and normal. Do not be convinced.
All bushes have ulterior motives in their pitiful survival. To become everyone's favourite decorate member of the plant Kingdom. It is truly sick, the lengths they will go to so that they can be accepted into Society.
Now, I never did a degree in modern History, but I think I am safe in saying the Nazis used bushes in their propaganda.
Something along the lines of 'Grow a bush for the Fuhrer' or 'Hide from Communism.....In a bush!'
Is this not proof, that any bush is never to be trusted, and in no circumstance should you give one your pin number.
Golly, is that the time? I'm missing Alan Titchmarsh's guide to Garrotting.
See you next sunrise.
(Unless the bushes get you)

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